​Hello old friend. 

You have walked alongside me my whole life. 

Yet I only recently got to know you. 

As you’ve been lurking in the shadows. 

Unseen, unknown and misunderstood. 

For over five decades. 

  

Your comrades also walk with my family, they too were invisible yet, it’s now apparent, 

 they were present in many ways. 

  

For too long I have ignored you, yet cursed you vicariously for the struggles I faced; 

  

Isolation 

Rejection 

Confusion  

Impulsively  

Restlessness 

Procrastination  

  

I just thought I was the one to blame,  

and everyone else agreed because they didn’t see you either. 

  

On the darker days, when I thought the world would be better off without me, 

you saved me with your remarkable ability to find solutions and create connections,  

pointing me to places where I could find sanctuary and support. 

  

Your curiosity and enthusiasm for all things shiny and new helped me see the world through a different lens,  

kept me learning and craving for more ways to create and grow, 

  

And then, as I helped my daughter understand her own hidden friend,  

I recognised you in me and wanted to know you more. 

 

Our reconciliation’s been a painful path, 

filled with grief, regret, guilt, loss, and shame for all those lost years of missed opportunities. 

 Sadness too, that we didn’t do this sooner.  

Live in harmony with all the quirks and differences instead of hiding them. 

  

Painful endings have happened with people and spaces that choose not to accept us.  

But, this shedding, and adapting to living with you in plain sight has led to joyful new experiences in places that embrace us however we are. 

I want you to know I am so grateful that you are here,  

and the more I get to know you, the more blessed I feel that you chose me to be your companion. 

 I’m learning to fully embrace you and accept you into my life,  

as you are me and I am you,  

my beautiful, brilliant, brave (and sometimes befuddled) ADHD brain!